In the spirit of getting serious about paying down debt and finding a common saving goal, I hired a housekeeper. Not to be outdone, Hubs hired a live in cook! How fancy!
How can we afford such luxury? I’ll give you a hint. My housekeeper’s name is Hubs and our chef answer to “Kate.” The chef and housekeeper are also willing to work for free. 😉
About a month ago, Hubs and I talked about the state of our apartment. We had two nagging problems. There always seems to be a mess and we stress about food. When we got deeper into it, we found that we had divided interests that weren’t being maximized properly.
He cares about the mess. I don’t. So long as the house isn’t disgusting and I can find what I need, the mess in the house doesn’t bother me. I, on the other hand, stress about the food. I worry about what’s for dinner, if there is enough variety, and the nutrition of our meals. I care about how often we are eating out and what we are eating. Hubs would be totally cool going to Five Guys every night. He’d get a Bacon Cheeseburger with mayo and onion with an order of little cajun fries. He’d be a satisfied man, and quickly weigh 500 lbs. Even with all his eating shenanigans, he’s still slim. I’m not so lucky.
To help manage both of our expectations, we split the responsibilities. I am the chef. I do all the grocery shopping and plan all our meals. I do any meal prep for the week and make dinner every night. He is the housekeeper. He keeps all things clean and tidy, which is his nature. He cleans up after dinner. My only job is to not make a mess. He’s even been doing the laundry lately, which wasn’t part of his accepted duties. Perhaps my housekeeper deserves a raise!
Since we divided our duties, we’ve both had lower stress levels. I’ve been more excited to cook and he’s been tackling nagging cleaning projects. (Hello spare bedroom where things go to die!) For me, knowing that I only need to cook has been a huge relief. I have set expectations and I’m working to leave behind what society says I should be doing as a wife. I’ve actually been helping out more with the cleaning! I guess, knowing that I don’t have to has made me want to. Bonus: My knife skills have improved!
I strongly suggest you get yourself a housekeeper!
How do you divide chores at home?
Goodnight Debt. 
I love this. I had a similar arrangement with an ex. I did the cleaning and he did the cooking. I kinda miss that. It’s just me and my cat now and she never does her share of cleaning up. Ha ha.
I’m amazed it took us this long to find the arrangement. It took 6 whole years! Lame. Tell your cat to step up her game! Does she at least clean herself?
Ack, I am on the other side of this equation… my spouse doesn’t notice mess AT ALL. It’s extremely frustrating. My spouse also doesn’t like to cook very much, heh.
Having the clearly drawn lines seems to be working well for you, nice job. I want to take a knife skills class one day… the day to day doesn’t seem to be giving me mad knife skillz.
oh no! No clean, no cook? How do they earn their keep? 😉
I’ve wanted to take a knife skills class for a while, but I’ve held off because I know they are going to tell me that I need to upgrade my knives. Try adding an onion when its appropriate to your dinner. Just enough chopping to challenge your skills.
hahaha. You got me. I almost thought you did hire a housekeeper.
But Pear! I did! He just gets paid in smooches. 😉
I echo what Trista said… seriously, the cats need to start pulling their weight! Especially since they make a lot of them mess what with their shedding and other issues.
I think this is a great idea. We’ve sort of fallen into this situation ourselves, mostly because I’m a better cook. But I’m also a better cleaner. So I’ve learned to accept “lower standards” for cleanliness (it isn’t gross, but it’s less than what I’d do) otherwise I’d be doing everything myself, and that just isn’t going to happen.
“Done is better than perfect.” It is so easy to overextend yourself, and for what? A slightly cleaner house? Stick to the food ma’ lady! You’ll save your sanity!
Definitely jealous. My husband has asthma (so dusting is a no-go, as is the cat litter), eczema (so cleaning agents other than baking soda are out) and increasingly bad joints and back (taking out a lot of other things).
He’s learned that our house just won’t be very clean — at least until he can convince me to hire an actual cleaning company.
Bummer he can’t help out. Sounds like he needs to learn how to cook!
Hubby is the chef and I’m the housekeeper. We do what we like best. Cooking makes me sad, and he wouldn’t notice stepping over the same sock all day long. Trust me, I tried that experiment! 😛
Loved this post! 🙂
I can totally identify with stepping over the sock. That wouldn’t bother me at all!
You had a great idea! Unfortunately I am sure that my husband would not accept as he does not love cleaning, but he helps when needes, and it’s ok for me now. Ah, he is very good at washing clothes, with the washing machine 🙂
Thanks! As long as he’s helping, that’s a step in the right direction! Hubs has taken over the washing and so far nothing has been ruined. Yay!
I suppose I’m the chef~ We do have someone clean once per month, but we’re both the housekeeper in between. Its been working out well.
Glad you found an arrangement that is working. Actually hiring help is a great option if your cleaning needs exceed your ability or desire. Thankfully Hubs doesn’t mind to doing the hard stuff!
Hahaha this is awesome.
I won’t lie, housekeeping has ALWAYS been a source of conflict. My husband will live in filth (minus a couple of quirks that he is fastidious about). It just doesn’t bug him. Dust also causes me issues so I’ve always shouldered more of that burden.
Cooking… he is 100000x better than I am. But I’m more organised (in regard to shopping lists, saving recipes for inspiration). Since coming back from travelling I think we finally fell into a decent arrangement where he cooks mostly and I clean mostly. I’m not as bad a cook as I once was but it’s never going to be my strong suit and I just don’t enjoy it.
That seems like a great compromise. I’m a huge fan of ‘Done is better than perfect’ and that works so well managing cooking and cleaning at home.