I’m not adult enough.

So. . .

Let me tell you a bit about myself.

I’m 29 years old. I graduated from high school, college and law school. I’ve been married to Hubs for 3 years. I’ve been gainfully employed for 2 years.

I repair my own clothes. I (read: Hubs) do my own laundry. I read books for fun. I recycle, take public transportation and turn off the faucet when I brush my teeth.

I’ve been financially free from my parents for 5 years. I don’t have student loans anymore. My car is half paid for. I have great credit.

From reading that, you are probably thinking, “That sounds pretty adult to me.”

However, one thing is for sure.

I don’t feel ready to buy a house. 

I’m not adult enough for that.

I’ve been doing many things to set myself up for homeownership. I want to be ready. I certainly don’t want to be house poor. I’ve been saving for a down payment. I’ve been looking at houses, checking out neighborhoods and running the numbers.

I still don’t feel ready and I think I’ve figured out why.

My biggest struggle has been with setting the timeline for making such a big purchase. Never before have I made the decision about when something happens.

Let me share a few examples:

My parents started my education when I was 3. I stayed in school until I couldn’t go any further.

Destiny started my relationship with Hubs. He chose the day we got engaged. The venue decided what day we get married. My mom decided what year I got married! (Fun fact: With a few stern words, she pushed up the date by a full year!)

HR decided when I started my job (after I got it, of course). I still work there, so I haven’t made any decisions to leave.

I chose to buy my car, but I didn’t decide when. I bought it when my lease was up. That time was determined by the transition from lease to lease to lease back to my first car. I can’t remember if I chose when I got my driver’s license. Even if I did, I got my permit at 15 and didn’t get my license until I was 17. I never failed the test, I simply delayed taking it.

I haven’t made a major decision in my life about when something should happen. I wait for the world to decide for me.

But this doesn’t work with a house. No one is going to force me to buy one. I won’t suddenly find myself owning a home. I could rent forever. Some people do.

Never in my life have I been faced with such a life event where I decide when. I get to decide when! That’s a big step!

I am a creature of momentum. Put me in the stream and I’ll go where the current takes me. It’s time for me to get out the paddle and make my own route.

Defining my own timeframe is pretty intimidating.

I don’t feel adult enough for this. 

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2 comments

  1. I HATE making decisions. I always want the fates to decide for me! So I feel you. But you have the great ability to actually decide. You can go entirely with the market. If it’s the right price and you love it, go for it. If not, just walk away. Nothing is forcing you to buy and that is the best scenario in which to make the choice!

  2. So not to downplay any of what you’re saying, but none of those non-decisions were life or death, right? I bet you could decide and pick a timeline if you HAD to. And with a house, you don’t have to. There is literally no downside to renting for a long time, and you know the math well enough to know that renting isn’t really “throwing money away.” Home ownership is crazy expensive, and when you have enough saved and find the right house, you’ll know — and even in that case you won’t choose the date! Mostly the house will, but also the sellers and the bank will have a lot of say. So not picking dates isn’t such a bad thing. Keep saving. You’ll know when you’re ready. 🙂

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