I can’t talk to you about money right now

Radio Silence

Things have been quiet over here. Ever since I wrote about my frustration with net worth updates, my brain has been distracted by other things. I couldn’t find the mind to write.

The biggest reason behind my mental block… My sister is getting divorced.

This isn’t my life, but it might as well be. It feels a bit like the next door neighbor’s house burned down. My life is continuing as normal, but the landscape has changed dramatically and the family is trying to recover together.

The circumstances around the divorce are ugly. There has been a lot of trauma over the last 6 months. Car accidents, cops, emergency rooms, psychiatric holds, treatment facilities, poorly kept secrets, and new girlfriends are the top of the list. I wish that was the whole list, but its not. I hope everything is smooth sailing from here, but who knows. All I can continue to do is hold my breath.

In addition to the emotional trauma, her financial trauma is pretty overwhelming. The divorce is way more expensive than it should be. It has been another reason for me to understand why people hate lawyers. This shouldn’t be this expensive and it’s breaking my heart. Somehow, my sister is keeping it together, at least on the outside, for now.

The best thing that’s come out of this is an open dialogue about money in the family. We have to talk about it. She was on the verge of disaster. She was in a disaster and now she’s on her own.

Personal finance is what I know and love. I’ve been gentle and provided what I can. After years of never reading the same book, let alone being on the same page, I’m so proud of the conversations we’ve had. While this whole experience is horrible, maybe there is a silver lining and she’s ready for financial change. She’s open to suggestions. She’s open to guidance. I offered to give her the Total Money Makeover book as a gift and she eagerly accepted. Last I heard, she was actually reading it.

I’m doing everything I can to support her emotionally, prepare her financially and learn from the whole experience. Holy shit, alcoholics are a firestorm and lawyers are expensive. I’m so excited for her for this to be over and for calmer seas.

10 thoughts on “I can’t talk to you about money right now

  1. Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your sister, truly. A close relative was divorced under similar circumstances (alcoholism, abuse), and it was quite dramatic. It can really shake you to the core, even if it isn’t your life. Sending you warm thoughts.

  2. Oh dear. I am so sorry. I have a dear friend facing the same thing right now (can’t imagine it being my sister!). Way to help where you can

  3. It is truly horrible how divorce creates such wide-spread disaster. You are right – it should NOT have to be complicated or expensive. Your sister is very lucky to have you. I hope that she uses your knowledge to make some positive changes in her life. It may take a while, but things will eventually settle down . . . for all of you ❤

  4. I’ve been preoccupied with supporting a few friends going through similar circumstances. Alcohol isn’t a factor in all of them but it definitely is in some, as is cheating, and other deep issues. It’s incredibly rough waters 😦 Best of luck to your sister and your family during this difficult time.

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